Lambykins tickles Mummy

Ok, Lambykins, or Baby Princess, whoever is in there - someone tickled me today

Oh they did it again! 

Now of course I can't be sure if its the baby, or my imagination, or some form of supernatural intervention .... but I'm willing to believe it's the baby. 

Watch this space!

In other news I have yet another UTI and possibly a kidney thing .... my kidneys hurt. Dr Seymour put me on antibiotics. This is so poo!! 

I've found the PERFECT products for me

Ok, so I've been umming and ahhing about what moisturiser to buy for a while now ... and have been avoiding going in to John Lewis to pick up the front-runner, Dr Hauschka's Rose Day Cream, just because I knew I had to check out the Burts Bees Carrot Day Cream as well ... and was worried about disappointment. I quite like the Rose Day Cream, but it goes on a bit greasy, and the tube is so hard to use. But it IS a good cream, and safe for Lambykins too. 

So I went in to John Lewis, tried the Carrot cream and it almost made me gag, really, the smell, and its very oily, so sorry Burts Bees - not that cream! So I gravitated over to Philosophy and dabbed on some Hope in a Jar, and honestly, sadly, those days are now gone for me ... I don't think I can use it again. It's just not natural and happy-making enough - I am used to lovely essential oils now. 

A John Lewis Lady came up to me and offered some help, so I told her my problem, my moisturiser needs to be really, nice, smell and feel great, make me feel great, really soak into my skin and keep me moisturised, and it has to be organic and natural because of the baby - I need to be happy with the baby sucking it off my face if that's what the baby happens to be doing to my face!!! She understood perfectly and took me over to the Stella McCartney counter (who knew??? where have I been, under a rock?) and I had a good session playing with the Care range with the Stella McCartney lady, Sian (lovely girl, but scary eyebrows, not a very natural look). 

Ok, I LOVE this range L O V E it, almost enough to not get furniture and just buy the stuff instead .....!!! The smell is just right, feels good, skin looks nice. Oh I want this stuff. 

The moisturiser, though - wait for it - is £46, making it the most expensive moisturiser I have ever considered buying. You don't just use it by itself of course, there is a serum, an 'elixir' (choice of 3) that you buy to put under it - mine would be the calming/soothing one, oooh so nice. Then before that there is a range of cleansers - the one I love is the foaming one, I love foaming cleansers and this one I can wash off or tissue/cotton wool off, so it's great - £21, and the toner is a spray mist that feels nice, and it's another £21. 

If you buy the whole lot, it's £131 and you get a flannel and a plastic rectangular block with holes in to keep your products standing in .... gimmick. Now where am I going to get £130??? 

Oh My God. I finally find it, and it's out of reach. 

Life is so unfair.

Yoga class was brilliant though!! I loved it, and had a real workout. Definitely carrying on with the class in Cambridge, no matter what. 

The first parenting workshop - Babycalming & Attachment parenting

We went to our first workshop by Sarah, and it was all about Babycalming and Attachment Parenting. Leslie, who I had met before in Yoga was there with her new baby James and her husband (Mike?), and there was another lady, Helen, who is due in 8 weeks (!)

It was really good actually! Learnt a lot, had reassurance about a lot, watched Iain take it all in and get involved, which was lovely, he was trying slings on, comforting, swaddling and patting the pretend baby (doll), it was great. I have a lot of respect for Tanyapa's research and parenting tactics from back when Brishti was a little 'un. I had come across a lot of stuff through her. Pretty cool. 

So we get to swaddle and Shhhhh!!!! Lambykins too!! Hurrah. 

Was nice to hear more about the logistics of babywearing on a day to day basis. And co-sleeping, plenty of options and solutions out there. I am back to leaning towards buying the Oberon Cradle ... for the daytime mainly ... am not sure. 

Shopping spree!

Just did some shopping. I've been putting it off for so long ... it is scary spending money, but I really need this stuff. Ordered the pregnancy pillow (went with the Dream Genii) and got a birthing ball, I HAVE to do something about my muscles, just walking up the hill is still hell. I only have 6 months to go!!! Got all that stuff from this amazing website www.expressyourselfmums.co.uk 

I also ordered my Mexican Bola pendant - love it! 

My tummy feels really heavy and I've been hungry the past couple of days, thank goodness as it's possible to have 3 meals easily now, even 4 if I am up early enough. It was so hard to eat for a while. 

I still need to drink more. Wish drinks didn't hurt my gut so much. 

I think I just heard the baby's heartbeat!

Well I found a way to stop being sad ... it's not cheap, its costing us £20 a month ... but the foetal doppler arrived this afternoon, and I think I found the baby's heartbeat!! 

Hurrah!!! 

And Mamma reckons she can help me modify my old clothes ... so I guess I have the doppler instead of new stuff, but I don't care!!! The baby's alive!!! 

So, great stuff lined up for this weekend:

1. Impress Iain with Lambykins' heartbeat (mine can't be 161 for sure, that's the baby, mine is the 80 reading, right??) 
2. Watch the Bahrain GP yessss
3. Bake cakes when the Ocado delivery comes tonight
4. Make ice cream - Nani's ice cream maker works! And cos I'm making this stuff it can be pretty low GL
5. Watch Lost with Iain
6. Eat crispy duck this weekend yaay! While we watch the GP maybe? Hmm might be too distracting so maybe not, I'm so torn
7. Go to the Babycalming workshop tomorrow
8. Order my pregnancy pillow 
9. Keep singing along to Diana Ross and Elvis as they seem to chase the blues away! (Try this, you'll see: "Don't you know, we're caught in a trap and every time you touch me, I become a hero" - sing them together you know it makes sense!!)

And apparantly Julie and Anne-Marie are gonna hang out with me soon - Yippee. Mamma is going to try and go to the Hypnobirthing Coffee Morning with me in April, and I'm definitely going in to the BL next week ... I really have to. So a chance to end the darkness, or hold it off at least. I need to not think about test results for Thursday. Who knows if I have the parvovirus or not. I'm impressed the hospital called the GPs to give them the heads up. Maybe I AM being cared for like a human being for once ... 

The hardest battles are inside, always, aren't they? And its not like the ones outside are easy ...

So I haven't posted in a few days. I've been sad a lot, and had things to be happy about too. Lets list them, maybe they'll stick:

I feel less sick most of the time

I'm a bit more full of life

I appear to be growing a bit, specially by bedtime, the comedy boobs are sticking around

I can sleep, although I wake up briefly a few times to either pee or because I'm that uncomfortable

I get twingey achey pains every now and then, reassuring, no? 

The comedy boobs are achey a lot, and downright sore sometimes

So plenty of cause to think the baby is doing his/her thing. 

On the downside, I'm bored and lonely, and am not getting much done other than the basics. It turns out I may have been exposed to the parvovirus B19 a few weeks ago, and that's not good as the hospital has checked my bloods from February and I am not immune to this virus. So if I did get exposed to it, I could be infected and it's not a baby-friendly virus. The girl who thinks she had it and thinks maybe she passed it to me, she was as pregnant as me, and her baby died. Of course, the virus might have had nothing to do with it, and I'm sad because of her baby dying, and the babies and tiny embryos of a few other ladies I know on the forum too. It's sad, and while I am glad and grateful that Lambykins seems to be ok, how do I know, and how do I believe our baby will live when all those other babies died? Or is Lambykins more likely to make it based on averages of how many babies make it? It's very sad, and I don't really have anyone around to distract me. 

I caved in and ordered a doppler to rent, maybe I can focus on positive things if the baby is demonstrably alive ... 

 

Trip to the Antenatal Diabetes clinic

We went and had a chat with a doctor (diabetologist) and a dietician at the Rosie antenatal outpatient clinic - missed yoga for it! 

It was actually great once we actually saw the Dr. They understood my concerns and were appreciative of the efforts I am making. They liked my numbers and I don't need to test regularly yet. The GTT at 28-32 weeks should be good enough to see if I develop GD. 

They also gave me a lot of reassurance and advice, most of which I already knew, and no one forced anything on me. So I feel confident I can trust them if I need them. 

In other news I did throw up my lunch of leftover chilli and tinned soup ... urggh, I guess the food choices say it all. Plus I left it waaaay too long between b/f and lunch.