Second Trimester begins

So I'm 14 weeks now, and here's how I look. 

Kinda pale a lot of the time, I have long hair now, and a tummy that shows I'm having a baby someday soon ... but it's not a great bump yet. 

I spent ages this morning trying to see just how big this tummy is! I am really not sure .....

Any bump is reasonably reassuring right now, to be honest. 

The paranoia hasn't totally gone, but now that I feel a bit less ill and have got over the kidney infection, I am at least not shrouded in misery and darkness. 

Onwards & upwards!!

Knitting little shoes

Today I decided to try and knit some cute little slip ons for Lambykins. 

It wasn't THAT simple, but most of the stitches were ones I had used before ... I'm not a very experienced knitter ... My first go resulted in me misunderstanding the instructions, second attempt was better, as you'll see by the picture the knitting is vaguely the right sort of shape ... 

I have not exactly managed to keep the knitting in moss stitch, there are stripes and patches of ribbing. Oh dear. 

I really hope it's a mother's love that counts, not my knitting skills .... and I really hope more experienced knitters don't go out of their way to make me feel bad that I messed up. They are only bootees for God's sake! The baby won't even care and will probably pull them off anyway..... 

I do feel like I'm doing something for Lambykins when I knit though. It's a good thing. Dunno how much we'll use the stuff I am making, but I will make them as nice as I can. 

UPDATE - err ... sad update this one, the bootees were HUGE, like a 4 year old would get his foot in them! (But why would a big kid wear bootees ...) So I am dismantling them. Dunno if I have the nerve to try again. Stick to blankets and jumpers methinks. 

So here's my tummy again - surprise!

Here we are at 13 weeks and 3 days, getting pretty close to the end of this arbitrarily segregated 'trimester', will be glad to see the back of it .... specially if the morning sickness DOES actually go, as per various smug peoples' claims....  Also, if my body actually takes on some sort of more-interesting form, that would also be good as it's pretty boring just being a bit ill (even quite a bit ill) and a bit pudgy .... Some sort of visible manifestation of the Midglet would be nice, it's been so long since we were trying so hard to conceive, that I'm losing touch with what is growing inside me. It was easier to maintain the connection to the little clump of cells I was so painfully aware of, focusing so strongly on. Well, Lambykins is much more than  a bunch of cells now, s/he is flesh and bone, plenty of muscles, sinew, nerves, blood, guts - everything, just in tiny dolls-house proportions. I of course am NOT a dolls-house, so I am unsure how to connect to Lambykins this week, I know s/he is there and moving about, but I can't reach him/her. It's still over a month before the baby can hear me I believe. 

I'm really pleased that the kidney infection has gone. I am ready to do stuff now, wonder what I'll do .... I have SUCH a long list of things that need to be done. 

Perhaps the market first. 

And I only ever get Kidney infections of Bank Holidays

So we look a bit rough right now, and the DIY is just not happening .... 

but at least my tummy's growing! 

Iain has a cold (surprise!!!) and I have just had a horrid kidney infection. Majorly sucks. I've felt like there's nothing left and I'm dying, it really is horrible, and my gut is shot to pieces. I won't even have one once the baby gets here at this rate. 

I have so much to be cross about, but will leave the whining for now. Am still weak and tired, although the antibiotics have been doing their work, and I checked my sugar today 2 hours after lunch (tinned Heinz vegetable soup .. urrrgghhh) and my sugar was only 4.8!!! So the Met is clearly still working. What more can I ask for I suppose, under the circumstances.

The Ferraris were disgusting at the Grand Prix, Kimis for doing well, Massas for bizarrely stopping. Am very cross the Mclarens were crappy. Nothing has really been pleasant at all this weekend. 

The Hypnobirthing Coffee Morning, and Yoga in Royston

Iain and I shared a new experience today. We went to Saffron Walden to Sarah's house - she's the lady who is to be our Doula when the baby comes, she's also the lady running our Hypnobirthing course in April/May. It was great. 

I was really impressed. There were half a dozen other mums who showed up, with lovely babies and toddlers. They were all well, no one had a cold, everyone was well behaved, even the troublesome one - he was pretty good too! He wanted to get into everything and be the dominant kid, but really, he listened to his mum, and he was put in his place by the two little girls so all was well with no hassle. Everyone there had had a home birth with a birthing pool for at least the second child, and they had all found the hypnobirthing tools very useful. Most of them laboured for 2 hours, the babies came out fast - 5-15 minutes. Nobody had any problems and everyone was in bed, tucked in with husband & new baby a few hours after the birth, ready to sleep! 

Iain was quite impressed and is thinking of ways to accomodate a birthing pool in the flat. It's not impossible by any means. I am not sure what the costs are yet. We have planned now to check out the midwife unit at Addenbrookes asap and see their consultant led unit too, see what we have ahead if things get too complicated for a home birth. I'd rather know. We can get my midwife to give us the lowdown on home birth at my next appointment in another month. Or perhaps I'll ask her sooner on the phone. It all depends on how things go by 20 weeks I think. I have 2 months to see how well I cope with the baby's placenta messing with my insulin levels. 

I went to the antenatal yoga class this evening at the Royston Complimentary Health Centre (same place as we'll go for hypnobirthing classes), and though there was only me, the instructor and one other lady (38 weeks pregnant) there, it was a good class. They need to publicise more .... The other lady was doing all the poses, even the downward dog with her huge belly, and she looked great in general. I want to be that agile at 38 weeks! 

I found my postures easier than usual to do. It was good to have the instructor Lynn there watching me, and I guess my muscles are relaxing now. Next class is in 2 weeks, after Easter you see, and that is perfect. I can really get into the yoga and swimming around then - from April onwards. I'll be as safe then as anyone can be in a pregnancy. Till about week 30 Lynn said, although we'll see. If all goes well, the yoga and swimming could help me be fit enough and balanced enough to carry on for the last 10 weeks too. 

Whatever I do now will help me and Lambykins, and the midwife and hospital will have plenty of opportunity to spot any problems that might come up - where the placenta is, how big the baby is getting, whether my GD has developed etc etc. 

At Sarah's, at some point, she brought out the baby carriers and slings, and was showing a few ladies a few slings they were planning on buying. I had a good look. It was interesting. I have been researching these slings for a long time and talking to mums who have been using them for a long time was great. Iain was interested too and we think we'll be getting the Close one. We both liked it and it appeared to be the favourite there. Easy on the back and we both thought we'd wear it. I'd like a pouch too .... and when the baby becomes a toddler, a carrier that goes on the back somehow. I am not keen on carrying the bigger Lambykins on my hip for extended periods. Nor do I want to HAVE to stop carrying him/her. Well, I'll have a good year and more with the Close and the pouch before I have to change to one for a bigger baby. We'll see. We'll know more in a coup,e of weeks, on the 5th we are attending a workshop of Sarah's about baby calming and attachment parenting and there'll be loads of hands on stuff with the baby slings. 

Monday is Scan Day, and I'm starting to trust the hospital a bit more ...

We went in to Addenbrookes, to the Rosie really to have the 12 week scan in 17th March. I was 12 weeks 1 day pregnant, on the second day of week 13. My heart was in my mouth pretty much the whole way there. How awful would it be if it was bad news? Iain was excited mainly - he was going to see the baby again! 

Well we got there and saw old misery-guts Beatrize, who did our first ever scan, she was walking about doing her thing with her mouth turned down so far we had to try hard not to laugh out loud. [Why live like that???] 

Everyone we came in contact with all morning at the hospital were very nice, polite, respectful and considerate. Can it be that I'll actually be ok there???? 

Well, I'm not sure yet, but it bodes well so far. 

The scan happened as scheduled, 8:30 am. The baby was kicking and bucking about from the neck down, the head was mainly floating from side to side, s/he had one hand up towards his/her mouth/nose, very very sweet. Just chillin, boogying along. I now like to dance like the baby all the time. Iain laughs. 

The scanning equipment is possibly a bit rubbish as the shape of the baby was still fairly badly defined, and so the baby did look a bit like Slimer from Ghostbusters in shape, at first. The clearer picture revealed him/her to look more like Caspar the Friendly Ghost. The photo (above) shows the baby's TEETH!!! My first thoughts were OMG we have a baby Dracula!!! I am Baby Dracula's mummy!!!! Nooooooo!!!!!! 

So then we talked to the midwife about me taking part in the research study they are running at the hospital (they will take blood samples from me, and scan me a few extra times, whoopeee!! - 28 weeks and 36 weeks. That is in addition to my 20 week scan and any other scans the hospital deems necessary for me over the next few months.) So I went and gave my first blood sample too - that was fun! The first chubby cherub nurse failed to get anything out of me, I think she was too scared. Then in came nurse Mario, and he went right in there and got all the blood they needed. It was not fun, of course, but it was not too bad. At least I had Iain with me. 

I also spoke to the Midwife about my IR/GD concerns and she said she'd put me in touch with the midwife who specialises in dabetes, which she did. I had a call from Kerry and we talked. I'm not sure I will like all the 'help' they can offer me, but lets see.

So then off we went to pop in and see NK and Nani and see Boro Phuppu again. NK was suitably complimentary about our little baby, but Nani thought the baby looked like a monkey (who SAYS that?????) and Boro Phuppu thought the baby reminded her of Monu the cat (ok, her sister's beloved cat, but honestly - who SAYS that????) 

I hope Abba (or anyone else) doesn't compound the rudeness by acting like saying Lambykins looks like some sort of jungle or household animal is a funny/nice/appropriate thing. It is very rude, and I don't appreciate that sort of behaviour. 

Ok, so the baby is a foetus, and therefore looks odd - the scan picture is not entirely flattering, how can it be - at 12 weeks 1 day (yep, the baby and I are in sync) s/he is only just formed. People being rude about the baby doesn't spoil how cool the baby is for me. Nor does it make me think the baby is actually a monkey/cat/whatever. However it DOES make certain things about the people making such remarks very clear.  

Way to come to the end of a trimester ....!

So after weeks of vague inactivity, this weekend has been a real mixed bag of activity - all of them pleasurable, I haste to add. Very nice! 

Friday I actually made my way in to London in the morning as I had planned - didn't get sidetracked! OK I messed up setting the breadmaker and Iain had lousy sandwiches, and in the end Chris couldn't meet me in time for dinner so I ate my take-out from Wasabi on my own and brought most of it home for Iain ... BUT, all that aside, I made it in to London pretty easily, decided to go to Birkbeck and look up the Reformation and also Scott Mandelbrote's paper on Newton & Thomas Burnet (I did both) and I thought I would plan and write a bit for the summer papers - I did some planning, but no real writing, but hey, it's a start! The summer papers sound great to me! I really need to get some work done. 

Friday night was the Early Modern Society film night and we watched Luther (Joseph Fiennes in it ... looking great despite the haircut ... and NOT looking like Luther at all, ever - he never gets fat ......) It was a very enjoyable film though, pretty to look at and funny. I enjoyed it, and had Chris for company, hadn't seen him in a while. 

When I got home Iain's wall-conversion project was already well underway which was very reassuring. 

Saturday we watched the Australian Formula 1 Grand Prix qualifying from about 6:30 am - we taped it in the early hours when it was live ... It was exciting and eventful. This should be a good season. Then Iain drove me to Cheshunt, I visited Tanyapa who was at a posh school there chaperoning and supporting 3 kids as part of the Model United Nations stuff she does. It was SO nice to see her and hang out all day. Brilliant. She was so excited about Lambykins, and had plenty of interesting things to say. We hung out and chatted, and though the school lunch was dire, when we went back to her hotel, we had a nice snack of chips and a cheese platter - the kitchen found cheese I can eat. It was all good. Iain joined us before too long, and then we went on to Jo & Jay's house for Jo's 30th Birthday party. It was a really nice night, lots of JM people, it was so much fun to have people to talk to face to face, having been alone most of the time fir so long. Becca and Tara were there, and Jo and Jay had made a huge effort to ensure I could eat almost everything there which was so considerate of them, I was very touched. I felt sooooo sick in the car, but was ok on solid ground! 

Today, Sunday, we git up a bit later, watched the Grand Prix that we'd taped overnight, it was a good race, and I got a lot of rest this afternoon - I was extremely tired after the two long days I'd had. Mamma and Abba came over with Boro Phuppu who arrived today, they brought bhuna gosht (yess!!!) and rice and dhaal and stuff. Very nice meal. Phuppu says she's going to cook while she's here! Brilliant!!! 

Abba also brought me the diabetes tester thing, so I can get going whenever I want .... 

I have managed, once again to set the breadmaker wrongly ... darn. I hope the bread that just came out of the machine is ok, at least edible. 

Well, tomorrow we go for our scan bright and early! I hope hope hope hope Lambykins is ok!!!