Another day closer to the scan, and today I gave up trying to plan my day.

Well, day 2 of week six is nearing its close. Today I am proud to say I was organised enough to open a window and do a whole load of ironing, so now I'll have clothes to wear that are ready to wear even when I'm nauseous (SO important for the Mummy Morale). I didn't cook at all, focused on eating a small meal every few hours, and it seems to have helped with the nausea which is not too bad today, gets worse near late afternoon and in the evening. Am still not hungry much, perhaps that will change. 

I took another big step and told Michael, it felt too early but looking at my appointments I won't get a chance to see him till the end of Feb at this rate ... as it stands he is very happy for us and we're having lunch on Thursday to talk about it and make plans. I do want chapters 2-5 to be done by the end of August, and I have the big conference paper in July, and I see no reason to think I'll be unable to do these things if I have his help. 

So I'll be in London on Thursday seeing him, getting a bit of plastic virtue work done, and seeing Tarzan with Alice and perhaps AMC. Then on Friday there's a bit more studying in London to do and then will hang out with the Early Modern Society for the Early Modern Film evening, and I guess can tell them now as I've told Michael. On Sunday I'm meeting a few Cysters in London in the afternoon, so another trip in. Am hoping the walking will help as I am not getting any exercise right now. Being achey an sickish is kind of my life ... 

All these activities should make the 4th come by quickly. It is hard to wait. 

Things the Baby will need

Hmmm, as far as I can tell, mostly Lambykins will need to be warm, dry, fed and safe, with plenty of cuddles and opportunities to sense what goes on in our home. 

Our room/Sleeping

We're not turning the study into a nursery, as we want Lambykins to sleep with us. If it freaks us out or doesn't work out in some way, then the cradle I would buy is this one: the Oberon Baby Cradle 

We're changing the heating in all the rooms to the underfloor variety (I can't face the changing temperature - poor Lambykins), and I'm happy we won't have carpet in the bedroom and study - I just have images of Lambykins rolling about on the floor happily sucking up dust and creatures that the Dyson missed .... chewing away on toxic carpet fibres ... We'll move the bed under the window and have all the chests of drawers on the long wall, hopefully that will leave us enough room in the bedroom - it's not big for 3! 

At the moment I suppose I think we'll use something like these products to keep Lambykins safe in bed as we will stay ON the bed (won't just be on the mattress on the floor - that messes up the underfloor heating idea) - the Snuggle Nest, or the Humanity family bed. I LOVE the look of the Humanity bed. 

[UPDATE: April 2008 - We are probably going to get either the Oberon Cradel or the Amby cradle ... and Mamma is going to make me a Family Bed like the Humanity one]

Clothes

Lambykins will need clothes, of course, and I hope he gets to wear other babies' hand-me-downs (good karma). His own clothes will mostly be a selection of tops and bottoms rather than all-in-ones as the nappy-off situation will need to be instigated fairly soon. I've seen plenty I like at Tescos, H&M, Mothercare and La Redoute, but on Saturday Julie introduced me to some LOVELY stuff from baby gap - their Organic Newborn range. I particularly like the little white body suits, the fabric is lovely. Other favourites are the wrapover hoodies and the pants.

[UPDATE: April 2008 - I LOVE the Green Baby clothes, plus the ones from Dollyrockers. A lot will probably come from Tescos!!]

He'll need nappies - gel free? biodegradable? - I'm all for the gel free, but am not too fussed as the nappy-free business will mean Lambykins need never be in a soiled one long. Biodegradable will not actually mean biodegradable for us as all soiled nappies will go straight in the bin and then into landfill, not into any composter - we don't have one, nor do we have a garden to put one in, even if we did, it would have to be industrial sized. So basically just choose one that is fairly non-toxic, easy to use and easily available, so the commercial 'natural' one would do, perhaps Tushies or Bambo Nature Nappies. I'm actually totally thinking about using the Tommee Tippee nappy wrapper kit - hold your tree hugging horses - our little flat needs a nice environment, specially if we want to take on the extra stress of potty-training the little one asap. We can see how it goes. 

For nappy changing time, I guess the wipes need to be as gentle as possible to start with, or be reusable to start with - till we know what kind of action Lambykins' botty is up for! There are so many available, I suspect there will be a few choices for the home, a choice for when we are travelling as a family, and a really short-cut for when it's just me and the baby. Someone does individual packs of all you need for a nappy change ... compact thing, nappy, changing mat, wipes, the mat changes into a nappy-bag for the soiled one ... Must find that product again ... which magazine was it in ....

[UPDATE April 2008 - I am still none the wiser on wipes, but the Nappies will be Moltex Nappies, we might even get them from the local nappy lady, and as Hertfordshire Council apparantly gives you £40 cashback for buying reusable nappies, I might try a few on them ... maybe the Bamboo terry style ones ... or Motherease nappies. Not till the baby is a bit bigger though - not the first few weeks. And for when I'm out and about I want these Baby Go packs which are basically everything you need for one nappy change in one pack. Not very eco friendly if I use them all day every day, but ultimately I'll be able to do more on foot with the baby in a sling with one of these in my bag.]

Lambykins' skin

To begin with, Lambykins should not need much on the skin, unless something turns out to be lacking - but we won't know that for a bit. I'll need to take along some nappy cream of my choice to the hospital, because if not, overzealous busybodies may well slap all sorts of undesirables on the poor baby's botty. Am unsure whether to go with the Green Baby nappy balm, or the Burts Bees one. I could use Dr Hauschka's Rose Day Cream on the Lambykins bottom as well as my face ... but that could work out a bit expensive! Good to know I'll only have to pack one cream for the pair of us when we are out and about though! We'll share the Organic Pharmacy massage oil too. 

Lambykins' first baths will just be with water and a soft cloth, in one of these Tummy Tubs - Like Brishti had. When he's ready for soap, there's a baby-friendly selection from Lush to explore. Perhaps they will be too strong for the baby ... we might start using the one we pick out in advance - before Lambykins arrives. 

[UPDATE April 2008 - I am now not so keen on the Tummy Tub, I think I'll just get in the bath with the baby instead, or Iain can. Where would we put the Tummy Tub anyway? 

The washcloths I want for Lambykins is the bamboo ones available at Green Baby (colourful!) and I want the bath towel too (also bamboo). 

The jury is out on the soap and massage oil ... will most likely stick to Green Baby stuff, and forego other brands ... will have to see how the Green Baby products feel. Will go in to the store and check them out.]

Getting about 

We're planning on wearing him, not sure which carriers we'll pick, we haven't seen many in the flesh yet, so to speak. I'd imagine we'd get a red cloth one for me, a green one for Iain, and another grey one (neutral), spare. Lets see what we end up with ... I think they should all be different kinds so that we use different muscle groups etc. 

I'm hoping for no pram, or if we do have one, have Brishti and Zain's pram. 

Of course Lambykins will have a new carseat, I don't have a preference, I think Iain will have one soon though! I suppose based on the pram idea, we should get a carseat that is compatible with their pram. 

If we were to get a pram, which is of course an idea we should consider - the baby will be heavy, and I won't be carrying much else if I'm carrying Lambykins already - I'd like the Stokke Xplory which I think is amazing (get it in red of course). Am also partial to the lightweight Quinny Zapp in turquoise or red, which is suitable from when the baby is 6 months +, and therefore probably not keen on being carried all the time anyway. 

I'll have to keep adding to this ...

[UPDATE April 2008 - Well I am less and less able to conceive of Lambykins in a pram until s/he is quite big. I like the slings that are just a piece of cloth the best, but I suspect I will have one of those and a sewn sling (I still like the Baba Sling) as well.]

Really pregnant ... it begins

Well, if I ever wonder when it really kicked in, I think today's the day. Boobs are definitely up to something, and am fairly nauseous, not like I had some lactose, like I might be sick, something out of balance inside (so all is well then!) 

I have to say, I don't mind feeling sick in itself, nausea is not exactly new to me, you just wait it out, use the time to rest, the body copes better that way. I can't imagine this is any different. It's not terrible, just a bit debilitating, I had planned on writing more of chapter two this morning - and it is 12:31 already.... Still, the day is young. 

So, game plan considering this is likely to worsen? - 

1. get an extra bowl of pasta/beef or pasta/cheese ready before I sleep so Iain can get it for me before I get up (or I can get it). I've been waking up too early and getting up to eat too late, that would make me sick because of the IR anyway, let alone with the hormones. Am choosing the pasta because I seem to want it even in the morning and also it will keep overnight. 

2. drink even more water. 

3. get the remedies I picked out - from here www.mumstheword.com

oh and someone on SoulCysters posted the following tips from her friend: 

• crushed ice/flavoured ice
• crackers by the bed
• tic tac/sweeties in all her bags and everywhere - peppermint, cinnamon (eugh)
• strong scents as a distraction tactic - candles, laundry etc 
• drink lots of water
• take the prenatal multivit at bedtime
• gingerale
• avoid raw meat if already feeling sick
• take as much fresh air as possible 

Reading

I've been buying quite a few books recently (surprise!) I tried to be as UK focused as possible as buying specifically American books sometimes turns me off ... I end up not being familiar with the products involved or the customs the authors talk about. I am still wondering whether to get the Attachment parenting books or whether to attempt to wing it ... immersion in all this information is brilliant, so I suspect I will read everything.... The kind of parent I want to be is very clear in my mind, but the steps in how to get there, the nitty gritty - kind of hazy - I wonder if it just comes naturally ... not a lot does in this life, so I suspect reading and then working it out on a more personal level is the solution. Also, I can only see as far as how I want to parent a newborn... I can't see how I can possibly speculate as to how I will parent the child as it grows older (past the 6 month stage) as I have not met the baby yet! I'll worry about books about THAT stage and beyond later ...

More than the books though, a magazine has been the most informative and thought provoking - I'm Pregnant! is fabulous, I have an issue form last year and one form this year and it's more than enough. I do like Junior Pregnancy and Baby magazine too, but it's a bit irrelevant. I have two issues and one is brilliant, the other is largely full of not much.

For the pregnancy so far I have - Zita West's 'Natural Pregnancy' and looking though it, I think it answers most of my current questions which are about how to develop further the things I've already been working on in terms of taking care of my body, skin, nutrition etc holistically. I also got Susannah Marriott's 'Your Non-Toxic Pregnancy' - I scared myself a little reading it, but keep reminding myself that there are only a few things I can change and it's ok if I decide not to make all the changes ... I like being informed and am getting Iain (engineery dude who works for a chemicals company and is ever so geely about such things) go through the book and tell me if any of the information is bull. He keeps pointing out that yes, toxins are stored in our bodies after we absorb them from crops and fields and cleaning products and gadgets and lotions etc but they are stored away inside us - they don't harm us necessarily - I am not convinced, I know what the oestrogen stored in my fat does to me (my PCOS etc), and that it can do far worse, and does so to some of my PCOS friends ... If that stuff can do all that ....

I got Dr Miriam Stoppard's 'First time parents' for me and Iain, it's easy to read and has a few pages on pretty much everything from ttc to when the newborn is at home, with lots of photos. There are columns of information directed at the father too, a nice touch. It's a bit mean leaving Iain out most of the time.

In terms of the baby, and looking after him/her/being a parent - I LOVE Lynne Murray & Liz Andrews' 'The Social Baby' - again lots of photos and really explains what babies body language means. I got 'Secrets of the Baby Whisperer' by Tracy Hogg, which I plan to use (have to finish reading it to decide! She kind of thinks like I do so I think it'll probably be the book I stick to). I laugh at myself as years ago when my sister raved about this book I thought it was a ridiculously gimicky title, and when she showed me lines from it that had held special meaning for her I was taken aback as I was not aware there was any other way to think of a child other than kind of Hogg's way .... But then, I've never looked after a baby for any length of time ...

I borrowed Daisy Goodwin's 'Bringing up Baby' from the library too, but it looks a bit like she talks as if the baby is a chore .... Lets see, I haven't read much.

Aside from that I'm reading a whole lot of yoga books for pregnancy and have borrowed a hypnobirthing book from the library because in Royston where I live, there is a new hypnobirthing course I can do, and I can book a Doula (I'm definitely having one!!) through them too, I'm hoping I like the philosophy and that it fits in with the yoga and stuff I like ... It will be nice meeting other new parents through the course too.

Books I might still buy - 

The Continuum Concept or Attachment Parenting

Ina May's guide to childbirth for the birth itself...

Perhaps Pregnancy Childbirth and the Newborn to learn  more about it all, perhaps I have enough ...

and for once the baby is here, aside from one of the child-rearing books above, I think one or both of these are in order - The Diaper free baby and Diaper free: the gentle wisdom of natural infant hygiene - it's the only way, because we can't use re-usables and I don't want to use disposables for years and/or have a child of 3 or 4 sitting in his/her own poo for ages on end. 

Goodness! Here we are!

Hi everyone - I'm assuming you're part of my family, or a friend. Welcome, if you're interested in my musings about impending motherhood, and the preparations for Lambykins' arrival. The purpose of this blog is to allow me some space to plan and organise properly, to think with links and pictures if you like. The by-product, a blog that Lambykins may or may not want to see in years to come is a bonus. I am only a few weeks along, but am LOVING every moment with Lambykins already, and I don't ever want to forget how this feels. 

Basically, it's not been an easy journey, but Iain and I are really happy to be here - expecting our first baby. I've labelled the blog Nadiya's first baby as opposed to Iain's and Nadiya's - because it's my blog ... not because he's somehow detached (!) 

Maybe we'll change it if he wants to get in on the action too ... 

Well, I'm 5 Weeks today, and pretty happy nothing drastic has happened yet. Another week to go till my 6 week scan at the Surrey Park Clinic. I really need to know that it's all ok, the baby is viable and implanted in the right place. It's hard to wait. 

We've told some people already, I feel I need the goodwill. The first people I actually told were my Cysters on the SoulCysters forum - it was 3 am when I found out I was pregnant, on Friday the 18th Jan, and I'm so glad so many of my friends who had supported me through trying to conceive were awake! Then I told Iain, of course, and it was still very early in the morning. As soon as I could I told my Doctors - Whitcroft and Seymour, then I sorted out all the medical help I thought I needed immediately (progesterone in case you're interested). 

Then I spent the evening with Paula and Stu, Richard, Birgit and my Mum - it was SO hard to keep the secret!! I lasted till Saturday night, and then the first person I told was my friend Tina, whose just had her first baby. I also emailed my real life sister and other-ladies-kinda-close-enough-to-be-like-a-sister - they'd been subjected to my trying to conceive stresses too so they kind of deserved to know as soon as! I told a couple of other close friends too over the next week (Hi Anthony and Chris!). I've been finding it very hard to concentrate on anything other than the pregnancy ever since the 18th... Told my parents on Tuesday 24th, by giving Abba a 'Happy birthday grandad, love Iain, Nadiya + ?' card - he got it in the end but it took a few minutes! Planning on doing the same with Rafi on his birthday next week, we should have the scan picture by then too.