JEM Midgley

Thursday, 2 October 2008

October 2nd - he's just a couple of days old

Posted by SparklesGreen at 07:44

Labels: Jaan updates

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37+ weeks Pregnant!! Come on Baby!!

Welcome!

BABY JAAN IS HERE!!

Look at his blog.

Hi everyone

I guess you're part of our family, or a friend. Welcome, if you are interested in my musings about impending motherhood (not long now!), and the preparations for our son's arrival (Due date 29 Sept!).

The purpose of this blog is to allow me some space to plan and organise my time, my pregnancy, and to keep my information somewhere accessible. The by-product is a record of the nine months which perhaps my son will enjoy learning about some day. It's also a reminder for me - I will change, probably beyond all recognition in a few weeks, and I don't want to lose touch with my current self, even when I leave most of her behind and grow and change.

Pregnancy has not been without its challenges - but that is what they are, Challenges, and whether it is money, anxiety, doctors, gestational diabetes, aches and pains, hormones or food - they are just things I have had to deal with. The baby has helped more than anything, and I feel very well, and happy.

The baby's projected progress...

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made for Jaan (3)
parenting timeline (3)
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Stuff I've bought already

Mexican bola
The birthing ball
Dream Genii pillow
A Shea butter enriched cream
Therapy massage bar from Lush - it's lovely!
Body butter from Lush for the shower (it exfoliates)

Books I'm reading

Francoise Barbira Freedman's Yoga for Pregnancy & Beyond - the best book on yoga for pregnancy, and the postures we do in yoga class are in it
Yoga for Pregnancy (Hamlyn) - A very good, compact book, with unusual routines in it, allows a lot of flexibility throughout the 9 months.
Stretching & Pregnancy - haven't used this as much as I could, most of my stretching is covered by the yoga sessions - this book has low key routines too, which are great for when I feel rubbish and need to move but am struggling. It's the only way to combat the aches and pains.
Fitball Workout book - The birthing ball (basically an exercise ball of a specific size) really helps with the pelvic pain and lower back pain, and I need to get used to using it so it is natural to me late in pregnancy and on the day. I lean on the ball when I do my relaxation sessions sometimes, with my feet on the beanbag. This book offers much more! Am hoping Iain will use it too so he is aware of its potential and is comfortable with the ball when I use it more towards the end of the pregnancy.
Zita West's 'Natural Pregnancy' - This is a pretty mainstream/non controversial kind-of-natural approach to pregnancy. Covers the basics, easy to use as a quick checklist at every stage. Full of useful advice - nothing revolutionary! A nice book.
Susannah Marriott's 'Your Non-Toxic Pregnancy' - This is a very detailed expose' of just how many nasties are waiting to get my baby!! I've been taking it seriously, and have been asking Iain about the chemistry involved. I have to choose a workable, affordable, sustainable compromise for the 3 of us ... and this book has been invaluable.
Janey Lee Grace's Imperfectly natural baby & toddler - Alongside Susannah Marriott's book (above) I've been using this book to plan my housekeeping and baby-rearing, in terms of the products and cleaning regimes I need to have in place, the food I need to have in our lives, and working out what I am happy to change and what I can't or won't has been interesting. I'm sure the journey has only just begun - we don't know baby's tastes or sensitivities yet!
Marie Mongan's Hypnobirthing book - one of the most important books right now for me. Our sessions with Sarah have taught us the techniques, this book guides me and reminds me when I practice. Iain practices the relaxation with me. We have a long way to go still!
Deepak Chopra's Magical Beginnings, Enchanted Lives - when I was very anxious and down during part of the first trimester, this book really gave me some perspective. I was looking to be positive and implement the plans I had in advance - the yoga, the breathing, the food ... and was struggling briefly. This book helped, it's not earth-shatteringly brilliant or original by any means, and is not enough on its own, but he cares about the same things I do in terms of pregnancy, and wants to care for our minds and bodies and souls and everything, which is just what I needed company doing.
Gowri Motha's Gentle birth Method - My yoga teacher Louise lend this to me, she used it for her two pregnancies (she dipped in mainly for baby number 2, was stricter with baby number 1, and the first birth WAS easier ... coincidence?? Who knows). I was interested when I read it, and felt convinced that it was just a stricter version of what i already had planned. Iain was scared at the idea of me becoming even stricter than previously planned with my food, he was worried I would set myself up for too many 'failures' or would put too much pressure on myself, and the no-wheat made no sense to him, whereas my orignal plan of no-crappy-wheat was fine in his mind. I checked out the main things in the plan with Sarah - she told me the homoeopathy part was a load of bull@£$%, and so I had another think about the complementary therapies, and actually, even if I decided to do it, I couldn't afford them. So I can't do the whole programme anyway - not the therapies, too expensive, not the homoeopathy as laid out in the book - although I CAN go and see a homoeopath for help if I face any problems in pregnancy, and the food plan, my personal plan is better for me than Motha's plan. So that is that. What I AM taking from the book is the massage techniques. She has a lot of visualisation routines and positive affirmation stuff in the book - none of them as good as what I have access to through Hypnobirthing and Sarah. This is because Motha starts off from a place where birth is fearful, and dangerous - in her eyes and the patients' eyes. She fights against that and turns that around. I am not afraid of my baby's birth, I trust myself and my baby, and the Hypnobirthing supports that, Motha's transcripts do not, they deal with pain. I am not expecting pain that is unusual to me, and I expect the pain to be finite, and expect to win the battle on the day.
Ina May's Guide to Childbirth - every pregnant woman should read this. Opens your eyes. We have lost so much, and I intend to get some of it at least back for myself, and keep fighting till we can all have what we deserve - the freedom to have our babies in peace, with kindness, and without terror and irrelevant pressure.
Daisy Goodwin's Bringing Up Baby - This book became more interesting as I read more of my other books. This overview of just how drastically ideas about parenting have changed over the years really gives you a shake. Pinch of salt with everything, must remember that!
the Sears' The Baby Book - This is my main reference book, and I love it because it guides me in the 'right direction' but reminds me to trust myself - something I hope to do, but as far as I can tell, most people have a crisis of self doubt in early parenthood. Hope this book helps with that!!
Dr Miriam Stoppard's 'First time parents' - Our mainstream, conventional wisdom all-rounder book - we need this so we know what the health professionals and our well-meaning friends and family members are on about when they give us advice once baby is here.
What to Expect - the first year - Kate used this and found it useful when Freya was little. I get the feeling it will be a lot more reliable than Miriam Stoppard (who is lovely in many ways but a bit of a div too). We need to look things up when it all gets confusing and this looks pretty comprehensive.
The Social Baby - We have a lot of books on communication, this was the first one I bought. It's lovely with lots of photos, and it really spells out the baby's reactions. Can't wait to see what my baby does!!
the Sears' Attachment Parenting book Most of the important information on this subject is easily found in the big Sears book (above). This book breaks down the Attachment Parenting ideas - am hoping it is helpful to Iain and me when we have time to sit and talk and think about it all (pre baby!) and as and when our bewildered parents get with the programme and ask a few questions, they can have a look through it too.
James McKenna's Sleeping with your baby - Again, full of pictures and ideas on 'how to'. It's also a small book, handy to have around - specially when we need to make sure a different place is 'safe', for example our first co-sleeping adventures at Redgrave or Cherry Hinton, or Amstelveen. It's an easy book for curious relatives and friends to leaf through when the time comes.
Deborah Jackson's Three in a Bed - This is THE acknowledged co-sleeping book. If we decide not to co-sleep when baby comes, even after reading this, then I'll be perfectly happy, as I will know I knew what I needed to know beforehand.
Dr Harvey Carp's Baby Bliss - I love the soothing techniques, and have seen them in action (Tanyapa and Brishti, Sarah and Violet). Can't wait to practice them myself!
'Secrets of the Baby Whisperer' by Tracy Hogg - Not sure I will follow this book as a parenting bible, but I am interested in the communication tips and know-how. I do want to know my baby.
The Wonder Weeks - I've based my reading plan on the problems other mothers have wailed at me about. Forewarned, and hopefully with this book forearmed (lol) I'm hoping Iain and I can help little one out when his spurts of accelerated development take place (bless!!). The book is pretty well researched, and I've met ladies who have found the timeline accurate and invaluable, so am quietly confident and hopeful.
Christine Gross-Loh's The Diaper Free Baby - Most people don't even know we are planning to try this - they have rolled their eyes at all my plans, so I am not interested in collecting more derision because of this goal!! I'm not so much aiming for a nappy-free baby (I have no real objections to nappies) but I do object to not trying to communicate with my baby about this, if he is able to. Several factors (illness, allergies, sensitivities on his side, or my own potential inabilities to carry out my plans - I may be ill, tired, somehow unable to cope, depressed, who knows ...). Chances are though, that we will both be well and happy, spending each day together, learning about each other and the world, which will be all new in his eyes, but in mine too because of his. Under those circumstances, seeing as I need to be with him all day anyway ... whether I want to or not is irrelevant (I do!!), I might as well communicate with him properly on every level. That's my plan, and I think it will pay in the end. I am always told I won't have time, will be exhausted etc etc. Can't see how anything can beat being as ill as I was and having to go on ... Even if the baby is more tiring than that, I can try, I know I can, because I have done more than that with no hope, and my baby is hope in living, breathing, beautiful chubby form!
Ingrid Bauer's Diaper Free - Along similar lines as the book above - between the two, these books provide me with a number of ideas, and pictures, and techniques to try out, and share with anyone else who is caring for him. I love the story she tells about her baby's birth and early days, beautiful. Makes me wistful.
Lucy Burney's Optimum Nutrition for Babies & Children - I was impressed with this book when I first came across it in the library. I have a copy now, and I am sure it will be useful. I think I need a couple more too though .... This book is all about weaning and I can't tell yet how that will go. It all depends on what he tolerates when he is being breastfed - and if he can, in fact be breastfed.
Lucy Burney's Boost your child's immune system - A follow up to the above, and again, can't say how useful it will be yet.

Useful sites am exploring now

Eco Retail online sells most stuff
Bio D site - looks more promising than Ecover for some things
Love this store - Summernaturals
Ethical Superstore ... bizarre concept?

34.1 - 37 Weeks Pregnant

Just waiting now, to hit 36 weeks and have another growth scan, to hit 37 weeks and officlally be 'term'. Waiting for the baby. We have everything we need in the flat, we're still doing stuff, just to make things nicer, but there's not a lot to do other than enjoy time together and do our relaxation stuff.

Baby Moving at 36 Weeks!

We were at home watching TV, the night after his 36 week scans, and all of a sudden he really started moving his bottom and back about - you can see him moving and making waves. Iain was comforting him by rubbing his foot which was sticking out on my right side (that is where it normally is!). He tends to 'moon' the world like this most evenings! You can see my breath making the bump go up and down, then the baby making the belly move about.

34 Weeks Pregnant! My Goadh Bharrai/Shaat - a.k.a the Asian baby shower.

Held at my parents house on Sunday the 17th August. I am 7 and a half months pregnant and feeling well. It was a wonderful party, hosted by my Grandmother and Mother, with lots of help from my Father and DH.

Presents!!

33 Weeks Pregnant!

32 Weeks!! - Dinosaur Adventure Park And My Big Tummy!

We all went to the Dinosaur Adventure Park in Norfolk (just outside Norwich) to celebrate Mum's 60th Birthday (it's in September) with the kids. Mum was the birthday princess!! Brishti and Safeera got the idea ... It was a great day out for us all.

Baby Moving - 32 weeks and 5 days!

Here we have a shot of my tummy, you can see me breathing and the bump rising and falling, and then a whole lot of extra movement happens! The baby was turning about and jumping and probably hiccuping away for a while - I only captured a few seconds. He was a lot bouncier a few minutes before I got the camera.

31.6 Weeks - my Baby Shower! aka Tanyapa's visit Part 2!

On Saturday the 2nd August, my Baby Shower was held at Mostyn and Jules' house in Leytonstone. Jules did an amazing job as hostess, organising everything beautifully. The food was so great, I loved having my cousins and friends present, and really felt loved and pampered all day. Wonderful for me! Mostyn was a wonderful host too and I know everyone felt as relaxed and happy at their home as I always do. Thank you so much Mostyn & Jules is all I can say!!! I feel happy and secure and well supported by my friends and family, which really makes the whole birth and motherhood thing seem even more like something to look forward to!

This is totally our lives right now!!

31 - 31.5 Weeks - Tanyapa's visit Part 1!

Iain and I started the 31st week with a trip to Wimpole Hall to see an open air theatre performance of Charley's Aunt which was very good. Then Tanyapa, Brendan, Brishti & Zain came - Yaay! Funtimes!!

30 Weeks!

Iain and I spend a lot of time together, attend an Active Birth workshop and learn all we want to know about the baby's birth - we're as ready as we'll ever be now! We're happy and well, looking forward to family time with Tanyapa and all.

29 Weeks Pregnant, and oh the bump grows!!

I keep getting bigger!! I also have great new hair.

28 Weeks Pregnant!!

My 31st Birthday Party

26.1 - 27.6 weeks pregnant

Gestational Diabetes is kicking my butt .... don't know what to eat! An eventful fortnight nonetheless - We went out to The Plough with Iain's Mum, I had my hair hennaed at Lush, Iain laid the underfloor heating and laminate floor in the bedroom (we got our bedroom back!!) and we attended Rene's wedding with Mamma & Abba. Good times!!! Shame about my diabetes and abject misery ... but, oh well....

25.2 - 26 weeks Pregnant - The Bump

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I find out I have Gestational Diabetes ... something I have feared from the start.

22.2-25 Weeks pregnant

22 weeks pregnant - Eurovision & Stu's Birthday Party, plus our visit to Mondanna, Mark & Ethan's

19 -21 Weeks Pregnant

18 Weeks Pregnant - in Carlisle

17 + Weeks Pregnant

15-16 Weeks Pregnant

It's the end of the cold weather, the F1 season has started, we take time to hang out together, and Iain's parents also come to visit from Bahrain. Lovely!

JEM Midgley

Thursday, 2 October 2008

October 2nd - he's just a couple of days old

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