35 Weeks + and oh so sad

Well then, I am halfway through the week, will be 36 weeks pregnant soon, and it will be time for another growth scan.

I am hungrier than before, sometimes the belly is very heavy when I walk, I had a lot of achey hips, thighs, joints etc yesterday and last night - possibly due to walking too much, possibly because I ate less carefully (had not been home most of Tuesday and Wednesday). I am taking it easy today, but am grumpy and cross as I don't feel like taking care of myself, feel a bit sick, and wish someone could just look after me like I look after myself (generally) - just for today. 

No such luck, there is no such person. 

I am still very disappointed and cross about the change of plan regarding my mother-in-law's visit, it's almost like a conspiracy. She's not very well, and it is obviously understandable that she needs to do what she needs to do - stay in Bahrain, only travel with Dad, whatever she feels the need for. I'm not mad at her obviously. I'm just gutted that she's not coming for weeks, and will only come with Dad, basically not be here with me at all

, and then go back, and within that time there is actually no time for me and her - time we could have used, I was looking forward to things getting back to some semblance of balance and normality. There is no opportunity for that now, and at 37 and 38 weeks of pregnancy (that is when she will be here) I am really not going to start doing something new and challenging - like reconnecting with her when she's not going to be in a good place in herself. She was getting into a good place when it all changed again, and I know her, it's not something she has the power to change - outside factors beyond her control I'm afraid, and it's sad anyone has to suffer at all, but I am specifically sad for myself right now, as I was very much looking forward to month 9 of my pregnancy, and it kind of sucks now, on paper. I can only have this baby once and I have to be focused on that, I can't be faffing about with other people's issues right now. Originally she was going to be able to come for a good few weeks before Dad's trip, we'd have plenty of time together, then ease into a family holiday. Week 37 and Week 38 is already a pressure-filled two weeks - the baby could come, I will have so much pressure from the hospital and midwives ... we will have to move furniture in Week 39 now because the trip has been changed ... none of this is good for me, all of it leaves me in a bad place. Iain will have to deal with all of that, and I will be alone. I know not all the time - just for a few hours here and there, but that was our time, my time to prepare ... and now I have to compensate and make do, and I am cross about that. I think I have been as patient as I can be, very patient considering how I normally am, and am a bit fed up. The flat is full of furniture that needs to go, and has needed to go for months, and if the baby comes in 2 weeks, as well he might, there will be a great big table in the way. And the bad-karma coffee tables will also still be there at this rate!! 

The baby does not actually have a tribe, as I had hoped either, which is interesting I suppose. Not that positive, and I am pretty positive, so I find it odd. I did know not many people would actually be interested in my ideas about how to live and raise the baby - I'm not stupid, and the results at 8 months are definitely interesting for me - the ways in which different people have responded, their stories, experiences and fears, but now, at 8 months, interesting t

hough it has been to learn about all that, I am only really interested in my baby, how he is today, and I am thinking only about his birth, about how I will protect him after his birth, how I will shield myself from interference, how I will manage to see him and help him and look after him without external fears and ideas (that are not mine or his) impinging on what happens. Nobody else knows what I want for him, what I have been preparing for him, no one else knows him - even I don't know him that well! It is not interesting for anyone else, I know it isn't, and the devil is in the detail ... I care very much about every detail, everything that will touch him. If I make mistakes (and I will, of course), I can live with them, no problem. I can't deal with anyone else making mistakes all over him as soon as he is born though, and I don't really trust anyone to listen to me or respect my choices for him. People like drama too much, and what I have in mind is the opposite of dramatic. 

So I am very sad about that too. It is not nice to have put so much thought and effort into it, and yet know that in the end people will do exactly what they want with my baby, and it may or may not be in my power to stop them, even if I really think stopping them is vitally important. It's not even about me controlling his life because I have had him within my body all this time - it is about what is best for him, and only I know what is best for him, I'm sure others could know too .... if they had put the time and effort in understanding what has been happening to him all this time .... it's not enough to generalise using any old data about any old babies - no one else has been working on this baby, this pregnancy. I'm no expert, but sadly my work on him is the best data we have. Makes me cross. 

I'm very sad about my food. Am tired of cooking, am tired of eggs, am not looking forward to having to prepare food for the months and months ahead when he is tiny - I don't want to freeze much food, I really don't like the taste. Iain has not had a chance to learn to cook anything. He does know to cut my bread in triangles .... but how often will I eat bread anyway ..... Having him prepare my food is unfamiliar, because it has not happened, which to me means it is not something I count on for the months to come. I am only counting on the familiar, in my experience, the way others have been part of the whole scene will stay about the same - my parents will not suddenly develop an interest in my parenting plans, or stop fearing for me, our brothers will not suddenly become interested in pregnancy, people will not suddenly be flocking to Royston to spend time with me, and no one will suddenly start bringing me food that is perfectly suited to my dietary and taste needs. How can anyone? No one else knows how, and it is already beyond me to tell anyone how ... instructions are so trite. 

I know there are plenty of people to help me .... friends, family, random midwives and health visitors and the GP when the Baby comes .... I believe the idea is to just accept the help, obviously, as life will be very hard if I don't, and also it would be very rude, but I can't help wondering what I will do with food that may make me ill, with people who are stroppy because I get sick with the food, when they were only trying to help me. What will I feel if people look at me like I am crazy if they think my parenting is odd - I don't like it now when I am considered delusional about it all, I am sure I will like it less when he is here. Will people really do those things?? I see them do it to other new mothers, all the time. I'm sure I've hurt the feelings of people who have just had kids too, by saying something less than tactfully .... it's easy to do even when I'm being careful - so it's inevitable, isn't it? Will people really roll their eyes and then open them wide and share wisdom completely sound within their own framework but incommensurable with mine? It would be far worse to have no input, no feedback. 

Was there ever that fabled golden age when the whole community raised the baby and cared for the mother, and didn't give her a hard time, or put their own issues on to her 8 months pregnant frame? Other people's guilt for not being here with me, other people's pain and bad memories, disappointments are wearing me down, resting heavily on my achey neck and stiff shoulders. The universal desire to know his meaningless Due Date is not really irritating - but I wonder why it is so interesting - I need food, entertainment, company and encouragement now too, leading up to that date, and I need even more after that date, whether he is here or not! 

Having said all that, I have never been very supportive really, in practical terms of other pregnant women in the past - it was just too painful in my infertile state, I could not, had nothing to give, could barely hold myself together. I do remember that and think, perhaps people find it harder than I know to be near me these days. 

Almost there now! Just gotta be smart ...

So Iain took me to the Antenatal Clinic today. I felt happy and cheery for once! I knew I would be seen soon as we went for 4 pm. Also with only a few more to go, max, it's not so bad. Also - what could they possibly say to me to get me down? My numbers have been stellar. 

So we sat and waited, I did my wee sample, had my repeat FBC/Anaemia blood test, and it went smoothly. Got weighed - it's 82.2 kg which is great! I am managing very well, and it is unlikely to go up much now at this rate - Baby should gain weight, not me so much now. I'll be eating carefully of course, so that is why. 

Baby has really been moving! I said he is probably moving down now. Kerry the midwife saw me and said she's happy to see my bump coming along. I told her about the moving and she said first babies, if they find their way head down tend to stay put. Good news! 

The kicks are all up above as usual, he definitely knows his way down!! 

Anyway, saw the diabetes consultant, she was happy with my numbers - I pushed her for more information about what I can do in the following few weeks. She had commented that she can't say at 34 weeks that I won't be on insulin in a couple of weeks - baby grows most in 34-37 weeks (they bloody say that every time! What a bunch of a**holes - if they are determined to change the bar every time ... why not just say there are no milestones for you, right until the baby comes you are just as much at risk of having to have the insulin. It's just irritating how they tell me to do one thing for 2 weeks and then say oh, you did it, yeah whatever, it means nothing. If they are going to play games, they should play them better or design a better game. It's just bad manners IMO. Hmmpphh)

Anyway. She did say that if, by 36 and 37 weeks I STILL have numbers like I do now - then she can say I will not be needing insulin. 

WOOHOO 

So I just need to beat the IR for 3 more weeks ... and then keep the baby safe by doing the same job for the subsequent weeks till he comes. 

3 Weeks. 3 Weeks. That is only 3 weekends (danger, danger). I can do my best. It could work. 

I am absolutely sure that my problem is not diabetes it is just my IR - if there was an actual problem other than my usual, then I know I would not have been able to do so well so easily. Yes, I KNOW it has not actually been easy to eat so strictly, exercise even with the big belly and the lack of encouragement from the world at large ... it HAS sucked having to do it on my own - Iain does not do yoga, no one else will do it with me either, and no one has been free to take me swimming. I suppose getting a cab is an option, as is walking to the pool - but if I go by myself I would never swim for long, not enough, and walking is a long, long walk, I would not swim much after the walk. It's tricky. I don't want to do something I will not be able to do properly, and then feel bad. 

Anyway, my IR - it is very hard to control, but very simple to control. I know how. Doing it is like slowly cutting off a limb ... or blocking off part of my bloodflow or air supply - I feel part dead ... SO much discipline, so much self denial, such a lot to do, it is just SO UNFAIR. It takes over my day, my week, my life. It takes up all my time. I resent having to do it - but it can be done, and I know how to do it. So I have to, don't I? For me and for the baby. I will probably hate my life in many ways over the next 3 weeks, but it is still the lesser of two evils as I would hate myself even more if I didn't do it, knowing full well that I am perfectly capable of doing it.

Sigh. 

So, the plan then:

Exercise - when the problem is at its worst: when I wake up, before and after meals, and at bedtime. That's a hell of a lot of activity - very small chunks of activity I think. For example some housework or cooking, sustained activity at some speed for at least 10 minutes at a stretch.  My yoga routine with the squats, the downward dogs, the exercises on all fours and the warrior. Walks down the hill to get something, to the shops, to the station etc. Walk to Iain's work perhaps - a bit extreme, but would help a LOT. Weather is bad though which is not helping. Tidying the house will count - and it needs to be done over the next 3 weeks. 

Possibly - wake up, test sugars and have my iron supplement. Do some yoga while I wait for it to be absorbed. Then eat with Iain, have medicine, and walk part way with him. 

Rest, wait to test sugars. 

Test, eat a snack, rest, do chores (exercise) 

Watch TV/Internet and rest, have lunch and medicine, wait, exercise properly, wait, test sugars, get ready for hospital appointment/Iain coming home/going out - whatever, or do more house stuff/cook/Internet/TV.

When Iain gets home we should really be doing something in the house over the next 3 weeks, or going out. Not necessarily good exercise, but presumably I will have compensated accordingly in the day. Eat carefully, take medicine, do relaxation or something with Iain, sleep. 

Food to avoid - All sugar and high GI carbs, lactose.

Food rules - Eat regular predictable meals, don't get too hungry. Stick to less carbs at each meal - keep the count at 20-30. This means more meals a day as the meals will be tiny. Don't have anything that I know makes me struggle to stop eating - it's only a few weeks. Drinks with sweetener or fruit/herbal teas WITH the meals, just water in between meals. Increase fluids. Lactofree milkshakes seem to work very well with meals or as snacks. 

i.e - breakfast needs to be protein with more protein, eggs with spinach or with fish, mushrooms, cheese or tomatoes seems to work very well. Again, it's only a few weeks and it seems to do the trick. Suck it up and just eat them. Cook them perfectly if need be. Have with a Lactofree milkshake. This seems to compensate for the fact that it's another $%£@&* Egg meal!

The 10:30 or 11:00 snack is important, and seems to be a meal I want to skip. This causes problems, potentially ... that is what I have noticed so far, so I think I should be stricter on this. Make life simple and just have oatcakes or an Oatibix plus cheese/peanut butter/cold meat. 

So lunch becomes a bit later than 1 pm, and can really be anything .... chickpeas, beans, meat, fish, something from the freezer - with veg would be good as it is likely I haven't had much all that day (may have had some with breakfast) although lunch is also a very good time to have a portion of fruit. Perhaps the solution is to stick to just spinach, broccolli, cauliflower, cabbage, corguette, mushroom and greens for the next 3 weeks, no other veg, and just apples, pears, nectarines, strawberries and oranges nothing else for the next 3 weeks. That still gives me all the colours, minerals, textures and variety - with minimal carb damage. Other carbs - stick to brown rice or quinoa, with the odd slice of bread and oatcakes. They all seem to work. Khichudi is a good option. Keep rice and dhaal on the go perhaps, make some curry perhaps. Eat with mango pickle maybe? Seems to work. 

Pretty much the same at dinner time. If lunch is at about 2:30, I should be fine to just have dinner as the next meal, with Iain, early, at 6 or so, which allows me to get some activity in before I check my dinner sugars, and then I will know what kind of snack I can have before bedtime - could be nuts and dhaal, or milk, or even fruit and cheese if I am lucky! 

WOOHOO .. how sad is my life!! 

And that's all she wrote!

34 Weeks + 1 Day Pregnant!

Well on the day I became officially 34 weeks pregnant I was having a good old time at my parents house, being pampered and loved and supported by a whole load of Asian ladies - my parents neighbours, family members, friends, and plenty of my Grandmother's friends. I'm about to join them in motherhood - pretty exciting stuff! 

A few of my cousins and friends were there too. It was a really nice day for me. 

Today, I have recovered from all the excitement. I rested all day yesterday. I have an antenatal appointment to see the Diabetic team, Iain is taking me - my sugar levels have been perfect. Hope they have just good things to say. We also have an antenatal class afterwards. 

Here is what I look like now! Baby is moving about a lot - I gather he is on his way down. 

33 Weeks Pregnant

Well, we've made it this far, all 3 of us! 

7 weeks (more or less) to go. 

Here's what it's like -

I get really tired very easily now. It's surprising, and I suppose it is usual for it to be this way. Of course usual is not inevitable in my book. I don't feel the need to become a victim or 'suffer the most' in pregnancy - my baby needs a fit mother who can help him be born and feed him and care for him, being a drama queen can wait till he is bigger! These things ... and things like indigestion, constipation, nausea, swelling etc etc in pregnancy are only 'normal' in the sense that they are 'usual'. Of course, for some people it really is impossible to avoid some or all of these problems - there are reasons why they get these problems without respite. For most of us though, watching what happens and listening to what the body and the baby is letting us know is fare more helpful. It's better to try and see if the problem is going to shift or not. Wallowing in it is shooting ones self in the foot. 

As far as I can tell, the fatigue is not primarily due to his size and the weight on my front - it is due to the blood flow restrictions, and my energy levels. The blood flow issue - some of it is unavoidable - I do have more blood flowing and less room inside me. Keeping my circulation as good as possible is the only way here - keep taking my baby aspirin, keep doing the exercises, specially the inverted postures, the raised legs and the ankle turns and arm turns, drink plenty of clear fluids. I also have a slight iron problem and the iron tablets make me feel so ill I don't want to do anything ... maybe keep trying, maybe find a better solution. Might just be the NHS tablets that are problematic (some mums say they use alternatives). The final blood flow issue is that if I lie on my back I do get a bit sick and dizzy - the weight of the baby on the arteries and whatnot that people have been banging on about since day 1. I see what they mean, although the actual response my body makes to the pressure is not at all dramatic ... unlike the hysterical 'DON'T LIE ON YOUR BACK EVER EVER EVER' I've been hearing for so long. Chill. 

Staying off my back and staying on my side really helps - it's a HUGE drag, but it is also definitely the answer. 

My Energy levels are effected by the iron and blood problem, of course, but more by my sugar levels. I've managed stellar sugar levels since Tuesday and intend to keep it that way. I appear to have irritated my parents actually, as they wanted to come over today ad bring me lunch, and I had to say I won't eat anything I haven't cooked, but you can bring your lunch and I'll have my lunch and we'll eat together. They won't come - not worth it and they don't have time. That's kind of sad, I was happy that I would have visitors. I hope this does not mean they won't visit me if I won't eat their food ... I am not planning on eating 'outside' food till way after the baby comes .... that's a very long time to not hang out with my parents. They tend to be very busy, I don't see them all the time anyway. Mum's coming over on Monday to help me with the sewing and get my help setting up a website for her Lorretto school reunion next year. 

I am keeping my sugar levels as stable as possible, it's incredibly dull and time consuming, and I am very bored, but it's all I can do for the baby now. 

I think since it is working out simply with diet and Met right now, I don't see my with a bit of exercise too (work those leg muscles) I shouldn't be able to keep them low till he comes. I still have tools in my arsenal I am not even using. 

I've had to change my plan to eliminate all dairy - I am still having Lactofree milk and eating cheese. I can't stop these 2 items as Oat or Rice milks are too high in sugar - it messes up my sugar control right now when I have so much against me. It's sad, as it's a slight risk for the baby's potential milk protein issues ... but he has a far better chance if I keep my sugars down, so we'll stick with the risk of him having milk protein issues. At least my lactose intake is almost zero. 

Same with wheat - I can't leave it out 100% although I have very little wheat in my diet anyway. It's just too hard to keep my sugars down on a restricted diet if I leave wheat out too. I can feel how sluggish it makes me, but I have to make my decisions sensibly, based on all the factors. The high iron content of my high protein, high fibre homemade stoneground wholemeal bread is significant too. 

Treat your body with a little respect, and it tends to do what is right. 

That's my body update, how's life for us right now? - 

Well, Iain is busy working on the car this week - brakes and whatnot, all the things that need to be overhauled slightly before Baby gets here (no one is working on the car then!!). He's got doors and the Narnia Cupboard to sort out in the flat, we need to move the chemicals up to the new chemicals cupboard in the kitchen, and move the bulky inert stuff into the cupboard under the sink. I think the kitchen will be ready then. We need to make sure it is set up so Iain can use it easily - he'll be preparing a lot of my food soon. 

Iain is getting very excited, he has a few doubts, a few jangly nerves, but they are exciting rather than a problem for him. The unknown seems to be - will the baby love him, seeing as he won't be at home all day with the baby ... (of course the baby will! The baby already loves him! How can anyone not adore Iain anyway!!). 

Money and shopping and space in the flat etc ... yes we worry a bit, it's a lot to do, but to be honest, what's the point in stressing? Some things we are going to buy, we just have to buy them - (Mattress protector, shelves from Ikea, nappies and changing mats, carseat).  Some things we need to get from Redgrave, some things need to go to Redgrave - the tables need swapping and sideboard needs to come. It's a hassle, but it will happen. The sofa is here already and we love it. Baby's hammock will be here in a few weeks. I'm keeping our food costs waaaay down. That won't change. I've saved as much as I can (thanks Abba!!) so we should be able to buys all the baby's stuff no problem. The co-sleeping bolster has come, it's great! (the Tres Tria from Better for Babies). All I need to do now is buy a few more fitted sheets from Tescos.

My tasks are more formidable. The health stuff takes up all my time and energy, but that won't do - I need to make our leps - our thin bed coverings, made of layers of cloth sewn together. I also need to get a move on on his Muslins - I have been working on the first one for ages! 

I am perhaps not going to cook loads of food in advance as I really do prefer fresh food. Iain will just have to cook. I still have to construct a recipe selection for him that is quick easy and manageable (and cheap!) - I've been working on the recipes for a year now ... should be ok. 

I'll get all the shopping done by the end of August I think. We'll have done our antenatal classes by then too. The first was on Tuesday last. We have 3 more Tuesdays to go. It was actually a very good class, interesting, and it was reassuring to know that our midwife feels more or less the same way we do about birth and interventions. Repitition is one way of retaining all the info I suppose. 

We also went on Thursday to do a St John's Ambulance Child & Infant Emergency Care & Resuscitation course, which was also excellent, and we now know what to do! It's reassuring. We know in theory what to do now, what to do leading up to the birth, what to expect and how to interpret what happens during the lead up to birth and the actual birth, we know what we want and also what we should look out for after the birth, we've decided how we want things to be ideally if all goes to plan [we actually know quite a significant number of people who have found things DO go to plan ... which means we don't have to get stressed out by the multitude of others who say 'oh it never goes to plan' ...] and we know who to ask for help at every stage if things confuse us, or if we face hurdles. Now we know the basics on taking care of him and his pals when he is here ... and God forbid if we ever need to use our first aid skills, we know how to get help asap now. It's good news. 

We do need to get a lot more hypnobirthing practice in .. time is chugging on. 

32 Weeks pregnant - a trying week.

So here I am at just over 32 weeks. That's some bump I have there! Actually, the bump is perfectly ok in size for my dates, according to the midwife. My scan on Tuesday showed the baby too is just the right size - head, shoulders, legs, body etc all the right size, he's average for his age. He weight (they think) 4 lbs and 4 oz. That is about 2 kg. He has a lot of growing to do in the next 7 and a half weeks or so! 

I'm actually not too big, and neither is he - I am not sure what people expect when they see me, but I have had quite a few 'you're huge' comments (nice!! LOL) and wise words about amniotic fluid (I'm carrying a boy and he had a load of fluid around him just in front ..) 

Well, all that aside, here is what I know, based on being in constant contact with my little one - I am absolutely fine, my Metformin, diet and staying active is paying off still. He is just perfect - nothing wrong with him, he is doing very well, specially under the circumstances, he is a constantly reassuring little presence. He moves about throughout the day, still does not hurt me, gets into a comfy position when he needs to. He is really doing his thing, and I feel encouraged to make the effort to make his situation as pleasant as possible - keeping my food and activity as positive as possible, keeping my energy levels as stable as possible, resting and getting up to do things in turn, staying positive when I can and getting help when I feel anxious - Iain and hypnobirthing CDs are my first line of defence ... I know I have more ... Kate is a good person to talk to, as are Chris and Jules - even though they haven't been pregnant, or had GD, they know me well, and I can't begin to explain how supportive their support is. Am relieved I have Sarah too. Once I know what I am doing, she will protect me, help me protect myself. 

Am under pressure from the hospital and the midwife about birthing the baby in hospital ... the reasons are the usual scare-mongery ones - nothing specific for me and my case. I was starting to get worried and scared (not falling for that one though!!) - actually, objectively, there are reasons to stay at home, and reasons to go there, and I need a lot more answers from the hospital side before I can make my informed choice. Yes, there are some special cases where hospital is safer ... I really don't think that is the case with me and my little one right now, and its far too early to say. 

They are obliged to give me the information I need at the hospital, and if they simply do not know any figures or know what they will do to 'keep me safe' then really, they have no clue and nothing to convince me with, which will tell me what I need to know. If they have good reasons, but I don't think they apply to me, then I have my answer. It's completely possible that my situation will deteriorate in the next 7 weeks and their reasons will have sound and relevant basis - in which case they need to have a very good plan in place for me or I will not be happy. 

We just need to be organised, even if it just means organising a very good early chunk of labour at home and then ship the whole show over to Addenbrookes. I'm not about to let anyone mess things up for my baby. My job's to protect him, and I'm the only one who will be with him all through - the hospital staff will come and go, most of them wont know me at all. Even Iain might get taken away from me, then what? No one can take responsibility for what happens but me (unless they knock me out or render me immobile, oh horror). So I just have to be responsible. 

My symptoms are once more interesting!

I am so tired so easily, and dizzy - not for long, mind, just briefly, and a little rest, a little yoga or a little breathing sorts it all out. 

I have been extremely lactose intolerant - the small amounts of lactose remaining in my system have not been overly painful, or painful for long, but the problem is almost out of control ... am managing to control it with eliminating the dairy and taking the good bacteria and staying at home so I can watch what I eat. It will take at least till the weekend before I feel ok again I reckon, and another week or 2 before I am good again. 

Well, it was good while it lasted, enough is enough. Even the baby can't make the lactose problem go away. 

The diabetes team were understandably less than impressed with my sugars for last week. I had been out a few times and had forgotten my Met dose a couple of times - I had a bad reading every other day. This coupled with the fact that the baby's belly is a bit big for his age means you-know-who has been chowing down on the extra glucose in my system. I feel so bad, so guilty and greedy - I love the baby, and am not particularly selfish or greedy when it comes to him, and yet I was greedy and selfish enough to eat all that. I chose to eat that stuff - sure, no one around me helped me stay away, but really, it's not their issue is it, it's my problem, the food, and it's my baby. I don't see the point in regret and guilt in this case when I have SO MUCH TO DO - he has not exactly suffered yet - doctors are not worried. They will worry if I don't turn this situation around. 

The diabetes team (oh the patronising arrogance!!) have given me a week to show I can have perfect numbers still with Met and diet alone ... and my prize? I get to carry on with more 'you can't do this for ever, [smirk smirk]'... My punishment should I fail? I will be 'put on insulin'.

Oh cheers, they own me now do they? 

Anyway, I understand that if I can't control all my levels myself I will need help, and that could well mean insulin, and it WILL work better than Met alone, but I need to know they have some sort of method of balancing the insulin during the birth - it's not easy, it's a slippery slope IMO - and randomly having a couple of drips attached (good luck attaching 2 drips to me btw!!!) with some moron who knows nothing about my brand of 'diabetes' is not something I can consent to. 

Who are these people that think this is a sound plan??

Can't believe women just agree to all this ... what are they thinking ..... 

Anyway, here's what I'm thinking:

Yippee, my baby is just the loveliest baby ever, you should have seen him on the screen when they scanned him, so sweet! He's still a blobby little so-and-so ... but that's the ultrasound for you, he's not really like that. What he's really like is a cuddly, curious little soul, who these days likes to stretch out a bit when he has a moment, ad tries to swim to the surface to be near his Daddy when Iain talks to him or near him. He wakes up around 5:30 in the morning, and seems to just like being up and about - no specific issues!!

We love him very much. 

32 Weeks and it's my Baby Shower!

Had a brilliant day at Jules & Mostyn's place. My baby shower rocked!!

Feel very loved, and very happy to be having my baby!