The hardest battles are inside, always, aren't they? And its not like the ones outside are easy ...

So I haven't posted in a few days. I've been sad a lot, and had things to be happy about too. Lets list them, maybe they'll stick:

I feel less sick most of the time

I'm a bit more full of life

I appear to be growing a bit, specially by bedtime, the comedy boobs are sticking around

I can sleep, although I wake up briefly a few times to either pee or because I'm that uncomfortable

I get twingey achey pains every now and then, reassuring, no? 

The comedy boobs are achey a lot, and downright sore sometimes

So plenty of cause to think the baby is doing his/her thing. 

On the downside, I'm bored and lonely, and am not getting much done other than the basics. It turns out I may have been exposed to the parvovirus B19 a few weeks ago, and that's not good as the hospital has checked my bloods from February and I am not immune to this virus. So if I did get exposed to it, I could be infected and it's not a baby-friendly virus. The girl who thinks she had it and thinks maybe she passed it to me, she was as pregnant as me, and her baby died. Of course, the virus might have had nothing to do with it, and I'm sad because of her baby dying, and the babies and tiny embryos of a few other ladies I know on the forum too. It's sad, and while I am glad and grateful that Lambykins seems to be ok, how do I know, and how do I believe our baby will live when all those other babies died? Or is Lambykins more likely to make it based on averages of how many babies make it? It's very sad, and I don't really have anyone around to distract me. 

I caved in and ordered a doppler to rent, maybe I can focus on positive things if the baby is demonstrably alive ...