36 weeks at last.

Am far cheerier today than when I wrote my last post. Can you see my lovely hair???? 

I have pretty highlights and look well nice ... am hoping Baby will say 'wow Mummy look at your hair ...'  ... well, say it in his little baby heart, in my imagination ... whatever ... who knows what he will really think ... I may as well imagine something nice! 

So I am cheery, not just for my hair's sake, but other reasons too. 

Partly this is due to empathy and understanding from my friends (thank goodness for them!!), Iain and even my parents - they are so happy that our baby is coming soon, they are getting excited, which is fine for them ... I am less keen on the second-hand-Adrenalin .... but their happy faces are nice to see, reminds me of the baby ... no doubt his happy face will please me similarly. The parent-child-parent pattern is .... er ... a pattern, basically a displaced repeat, a delayed reaction, a repeat reaction. Luckily it's complex and encoded, and I can re-write some of the code LOL!!! 

I am also feeling better after having a whine about my food (poor, poor me!) and yet maintained my diet and perfect sugar scores (yaay me) - so I just need to do this for one more week and I am home free IMO. There will be nothing more for me to do ... the rest is up to fate, Allah, the Baby, nature and coincidence. All I know is, there are certainly not 36 weeks to go .... so I can't complain! 

I am still happy to be pregnant. The baby is great, he kicks about like a happy little thing, all the kicks are up near my right side, I get the occasional twinge in what may well be my cervix, (who knows where it all is these days!!) - Iain and I are having bizarre adventures with the EPO and perineal massage every evening - it's a team effort, we need all the hands, arms and expertise we have ... nothing is quite where we expect it to be anymore!!! What IS the baby doing in there?? Redecorating?? Landscaping?? It's a laugh some nights, and we have to take a step back and re-assess other nights. I suppose it is no bad thing to have to do that ... overcome a challenge calmly. Surely night feeds and nappy changes and the baby when he has some sort of problem will similarly require our combined efforts, all our hands and wits too! 

So while it's not exactly fun, everyone I know who did the perineal massage has told me it worked for them ... so we're sticking to it. It's something proacative to do, anyway ... I still get a back or full body massage every other night or so (Iain is very kind) unless Iain is very

very sleepy. I am still sleeping like a log every night, waking up at about 6 am now, rather than 5 am, which is nice. I have been drinking at night, hoping that it does wake me ... 

I prefer to get up and wee, and make sure the baby is moving about - it's a bit long for me to sleep all night and just leave him to his own devices ... his kicks don't hurt me so I don't wake up. Not sure we are geared up here to do anything about it if he stops kicking .... but there is really no one else to keep an eye on him/be there for him ... so there you go. 

It's not great trying to turn over in bed or get out of bed - my tummy is very heavy and my tummy muscles are totally useless right now (rightly so), and my hips ache when I try to move like that (they are fine the rest of the time). I have found that as long as I use my leg muscles, and maybe my arms, and get on all fours, I can get up from bed or lying otherwise pretty easily with no pain as such. I have been lying on my left side a lot, supported by the sofa and cushions, I am trying to give the baby space, keep my circulation going (slightly raised leg), and it seems to help take the pressure off. My back and sides are fine. I am also walking and doing chores, cooking, tidying, laundry etc each day, keeping the limbs moving, and the yoga - I wish I had the energy every day, I don't, but every other day for sure, plenty of inverted postures, squats and balance postures. Partly I am checking my body to make sure the hip pains are just my body preparing for birthing, not anything trickier, and the seated postures and inverted ones are also a good guide for me to make sure my digestive system is still ok - I have not had indigestion or reflux or anything so far, and I keep testing my muscles - am not sure if it is at all scientific to try and tell this when I am partway inverted ... but I know in the past when my oesophegus was rubbish, a downward dog would have thrown me somewhat, would have felt bleagghhy with bile, and am fine now. 

I do get tired, exhausted even (rarely) - a little exercise and regular rest seems to work, and listening to my body in terms of response to food - insulin levels etc, using my sugar readings (I take a lot of readings) mean my energy levels are pretty good. 

I do have a lot to do in the next few weeks ... 

the baby's sections of each room are still not done (put together) and personally I don't want to do them once he is here ... what a drag. I don't want to do it now, am not gonna want to do it then. 

I have books to read and re-read - have read the Tracy Hogg book and am on Gina Ford this morning ... the sooner I decide what I'm going to bother to take out of those books the better ... they are not exactly fun to read!

I've started on Iain's Handbook for once the baby gets here ... it's meant to include his cookbook too ... plus I have my pregnancy diary and the pregnancy photobook to finish. I did plan to do all these things in this last month .... but even so ... nothing is particularly interesting any more ... am just a bit slow and a living from one sugar reading to another. I do feel that next time (if we are so lucky) I will just get an independent midwife and avoid as much of the hospital help as possible. I really resent the arbitrary, arrogant sugar-level fascism ... I know I decided to use their help in the way I am using it ... and the drama factor is from their side, and I am just living with it .... I suppose I feel I have other things to do rather than fight them ... But really, I know what to do now, for next time. Am collecting data now and I am happy with what I have learned, and don't think I can change their flawed system ... not now, and not by myself. Will leave that battle for now .... All I really care about is the baby.